Check Out ZippeTron Times, the newspaper the New York Times tries to mimic.
About
Our Approach
ZippeTron
Welcome to ZippeTron, the world's largest cybernetic, most technologically advanced renovative and transformative, artificially intelligent super company.
We welcome you. We welcome all. WELCOME!
Our Story
ZippeTron's Story
Zippe-Tron Industries started as a dream. A dream to bring people and the products that kill things together. And that dream has come true. Starting with only 2 products (Boot-B-Gone and Scorpo-Kill), Zippe-Tron Industries has grown to the largest pest control specialist in the world.
For those who believed in us after all these long weeks, we thank you. To those of you who have been diagnosed with a strange form of cancer, claiming one of our products as the cause, you're absolutely wrong!!! And for all of those who are still suffering from *kankles, kanklitis or kankle related disabilities, we hope to see you soon!
*kankle: a condition which affects the feet, whereby the ankle on the subject disappears and is replaced by one solid bone. Symptoms include stiffness in the ankle, if you can no longer feel your ankle, if you can no longer move your foot by way of ankle. Cause is unknown.
Meet Team ZippeTron
Mortimer McDooglè
Founder & CEO
Mortimer is proud to have the world's largest collection of boils.
Cornelius Baxter
Vice President
Cornelius was picked as VP for his unwavering dedication to ZippeTron. He has been through 8 divorces.
Roscoe Dütz
CFO
Roscoe is a girl.

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